The 14 commandments of the religious Left



         1-Thou shalt have no other God except thyself; after
         all, it is thy self-esteem that counts. If thou will
         not love thyself, who will?

         2-Thou shalt not make any graven image out of any
         substances which cannot be recycled.

         3-Thou shalt not take the name of Liberals in 
         criticism.

         4-Remember the anniversaries of Roe v. Wade and Anita
         Hill's testimony, and keep them holy.

         5-Honor thy mother. If she is dysfunctional, it's
         thy fathers fault.

         6-Thou shalt not kill, except life forms under the 
         second trimester.

         7-Thou shalt not commit adultery. Unless thou aspirest
         to high political office, useth a condom or cannot help
         it.

         8-Thou shalt not steal. Unless thou art disadvantaged
         or upset with a jury verdict.

         9-Thou shalt not bear false witness. Unless thou can
         afford good legal counsel in the event thou art 
         discovered.

         10-Thou shalt not covet. Unless thou art still angry
         with Reagan's tax cuts.

         11-Always hide the truth about thyself.

         12-Never admit who or what thou really art when 
         campaigning for office.

         13-Always blame someone else for what thou dost.

         14-Thou shalt oppose all punishment---except when
         conservative Republicans or religious Right people
         criticize thee.